I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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