He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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