my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
two words...techno handjob
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
