I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
