Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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