Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
