So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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