I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
