your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize