I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
