her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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