sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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