Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
