So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You smell like stripper and shame
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
