I got chris browned last night
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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