yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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