just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
