I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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