i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
