we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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