I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
