yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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