if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So vagazzling was a success
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
