so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
