I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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