am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
