...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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