Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Enjoy the penises
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
