I cut my penus on the lid.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize