just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
