it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize