either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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