This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
