i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
