Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
