as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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