it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
