glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
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