Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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