the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
