dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
