Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
