Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
