no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
