The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
