i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
