I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
