I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
