mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
