I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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