I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
