Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
