I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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