first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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