I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
