i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
