Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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