i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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