I'm laying in your front yard are you home
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
this hospital has no fireball
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
