dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
