Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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