The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
