I can tuck mytits in my pants
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
