I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
too bad you live with your parents still
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize