..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
