ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My dick has a subreddit
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
