Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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