Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
