You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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