I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You don't make any sense
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