don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize