No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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