everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
