You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
