how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
