somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
