The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
