would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
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